Whose Bio Is This? And Why I Hope It Isn’t Yours

It’s awkward to talk about ourselves. How to reveal just enough of who we are as a person and combine it with our rock star skills and expertise without bragging or boring people?And yet we must figure it out. Writing your bio may cause crabbiness or nausea, but it is an important part of your brand portfolio and must be done – in advance of needing it. You’ll use variations online, as a speaker, and when looking for a referral or an introduction. Waiting until someone asks for it will result in head banging and produce a mediocre version of you in words.Figurative head banging can be just as painful as the real thing.A bio is not a bunch of slick-sounding but meaningless words. Words that do nothing more than take up space are like a boring speaker or cheap wine. The speaker makes you want to leave the room and bad wine, well, there’s no reason to buy that brand again.Sunday I was Googling, randomly reading stuff about copywriting and looking at the competition. My competition isn’t any or all copywriters. There are two market segments I run in: mission driven/personal development entrepreneurs and speakers in the same arena. One result Google delivered was “How to write a professional bio.” Looking for something new, I went there.His article was basic but informative. His bio was going to prove his points I thought, “Add credentials, expertise, and what makes you unique.”


Not so much.”M, specializes in coaching and mentoring conscious individuals and heart-centered entrepreneurs who want to follow their dreams and create successful businesses that are aligned with their passion and purpose, helping them make money doing what they love, creating a fulfilling life, and make a greater impact in the lives of others.”Know anyone who sounds just like this person? Sure, we all do. We probably know too many. Someone reading this might have a bio that sounds similar…
There are no credentials, no signs of his expertise, and nothing I would call unique.He called out his market: “conscious individuals and heart-centered entrepreneurs.” The heart-centered part I’ll agree with, and forgive me for asking but how would you coach an unconscious individual? It’s a commonly used idea, but what does it really mean?Where is the unique? Everyone coaches and consults, but what makes this one better, or different?I’m not done yet, and this is in the interest of having you sound like the dynamic individual you are – not just being bitchy.”Who want to follow their dreams.” Who doesn’t want to follow their dreams?Maybe M is eliminating those less-than-ideal clients.Or are his words just taking up space on the page?One last thing, “create successful businesses that are aligned with their passion and purpose, helping them make money doing what they love, creating a fulfilling life, and make a greater impact in the lives of others.”This sentence is an award winner in the run-on sentence category, and the last half needs to break away from the motherland. It’s a fine idea, and many of us in business want successful ones that align with some aspect of us. We want to be fulfilled, and have an impact. SO WHAT?!I mean, so what do all of those words do to help me get to know M? And when does he breathe when reading this out loud? You know you should ALWAYS read everything out loud before publishing or sending, right?Look peoples, I know this critique may be harsh, but your brain goes to sleep instantly when it’s not engaged and wondering what’s next. Your bio is no different than your pitch from the front of the room, the copy on your About Page, or anywhere you are marketing you. Don’t be boring!What constitutes a strong bio? Voice, speaking to a specific target audience, personality, expertise, credentials.And one bio will not do every job. Depending on who wants to read it or get to know you, you will change the slant and what you include.Here are the guidelines to writing a bio that does the job:

Shorter is always better.

You can start with your value proposition. “Marketing is overpopulated with boring, meaningless bios and web copy.”Or your full name – and generally, speak in the third person. “Maryann Jones runs a wellness spa catering to midlife women recovering from cancer.”Like that.Use your full name, but only once – then use your first name or “Maryann or Ms. Jones works with,” or your bio will feel clumsy.

State who you work with and your expertise. Add a phrase that will be memorable or at least interesting about your work. “Linda has been featured in Forbes magazine for her work with autistic children.” “Thomas has over 100 testimonials from satisfied real estate agents who have taken his course, ‘Sell more homes than they do.’”

Depending on your industry and brand voice, you can use humor – but run it by someone to make sure it’s not misunderstood. Social media invites can be playful but make sure your services are clear.

Why not review your current bios and be sure they are interesting, as short as possible, and work to let others know what sets you apart? You are unique, even if you do what a thousand others do. Your bio should reveal that.

Selling The House That Nobody Wants

How do you sell a house that nobody wants? You see, because you have been holding on to this piece of trash for phreakin’ forever! It’s so dam stressful now! What we gotta do to get paid? Burn it down and try to collect insurance money on it? I mean, you’re willing to let it go for far below the market value! So, what the hell?

First, calm down. Take a deep cleansing breath, and let’s clear the air.

You are going to sell that house. Yes, you are. And, I am going to help you. By the way, I want my three percent commission fee too! So, make sure you get in touch with me after the sales transaction has completed! LOL! I’m just kidding about the commission fee, but if you did contact me and offer it to me, I surely wouldn’t decline the offer.

Let’s get back on track now. Why isn’t this house selling? Do you think it’s your asking price? Is it the neighborhood? Is the home even habitable? Do you think it’s the condition of the house? Because, if it is the condition of the house, then with all due respect, let me ask you this. Why in the hell are you trying to sell a piece of trash? I mean, would you buy that house? Could you put your family in it?

Well, I’m gonna shine some light in the dark areas for you. This way, you can see what is truly happening here.

First of all, it is not the condition of the house! Because I’m quite sure you have heard that old saying plenty of times before. “One man’s trash, is another man’s treasure.” So, it’s not because this house is a piece of trash, because to the right buyer, it is a piece of treasure! For the correct buyer, this is the most perfect house! Understand that concept,

But, is it the price, then? Maybe you’re too high! Or, is it too low? No. It’s not the price. It’s not the neighborhood. It’s not the condition of the home. It’s not the realtor. But, are you ready for the truth?

It’s you! Yes, you! You are the reason why this house isn’t and hasn’t sold yet! Your energetic thinking, and your desperate demeanor, and your negative irritating mood is preventing this home from leaving you. The very energy you have been projecting thus far is stopping your progress, so you need to turn things around now. You must correct your posture, your attitude, and the signal you are putting out there into the world, if you really want to sell this house now.

Think about this. If you don’t want the house, what makes you think that anyone else would want the house? If you believe that it’s such a piece of trash, then how can you realistically expect to get paid for it? I mean, do you generally go around selling your garbage? Not cans or recyclables, but I’m talking about your waste? The stuff you flush down the toilet, or the stuff you want to toss directly into the trash truck. Of course, you’re not gonna get any money for that type of garbage! Because it has no value to you.

What we need to do here is, clear the slate. You must adjust your pitch. I am telling you to recompose that sorry sounding, pathetic sales song you’ve been singing! You just need a new, upbeat tune now! So, this is what you do.

Go into that house, and identify all the good qualities about this home. Take your note pad with you, and simply jot them all down. I’m asking you to ignore everything that you think is bad about it. So, the bad plumbing, poor wiring, effed-up roof, no heating system, yada yada yada. Ignore all that for right now! Just write down all the good qualities about this home.

Is it spacious? Are there plenty of rooms? Are the ceilings high? Does it promote privacy? Can a garden be planted? Does it resemble anything historic?

Maybe you grew up in this house. Did you or someone you know once occupy the home? You could have bad memories of the home, and this negativity can certainly impede your progress. If this is the case, I am recommending that you go see a good Life Coach, like me!, to help you clear this energy up. No, it’s not a ridiculous recommendation, and yes, it’s totally worth it! Because in the end, not only will you be able to sell that house with ease, but you will have cleared up a lot of personal baggage too.

Stay focused, though. After you have written down all of the good qualities, you should try to imagine yourself living in this home. Go ahead, do the exercise. Envision where you would place a bed, where you would put an entertainment system at. Where the kids room would be. What type of curtains you would hang. What color stove you would install. What type of cabinets you would install. What type of flooring you would install.

What you are doing, is you are raising the value of the home in your mind. You are turning this piece of trash, into a real home! But, you are doing it all in your mind!

After you have made this a nice home, and you have done these exercises, guess what? This house won’t seem like such a piece of trash to you after all! Because, now, you are able to see the true value of the home!

You see, the home wasn’t selling, because of the nasty energy signals you were putting out. You’ve been putting out, “I don’t want this house!” So, people are picking up on that negative energy, that negative vibe that you are emitting! They’re in turn, responding, “Shiddd… We don’t want that house either!”. But more! You’ve been putting it out there, “This house is a piece of trash!”. And, again, they’re picking up on your energetic signal! They’re going, “Shiddd… Well, we don’t wannna buy a piece of trash. Why would we go looking for a home in the local dump site?”. And be honest. Would you go home shopping for your house at the local garbage yard? Hell no!

Again, you’ve been putting the signal out there, “this house is giving me so much trouble!” and, of course, people are picking up on that terrible signal you were broadcasting! They’re thinking to themselves, “Oh No! Run! That house is trouble!”

But, now that you have shifted your perspective about the house, and you are able to see that it is a nice home! It has a great potential! And, you even saw the potential! You’ve got a great list of good qualities about this home that you are selling! Matter of fact, you would consider living in it your own self!

With this new type of attitude and thinking in place, you are now going to be able to sell that home once and for all! Yes, you will! This house will sell!

Now, let’s talk about the pricing for this home. It might be in a rundown condition. It might even need some substantial work done to it. You could consider taking all the needed repairs into consideration. You could start at market value, and then simply subtract the price it would cost for repairs.

But, what if you still have a running mortgage on that house?

Listen, I’m not a realtor, and this article does not constitute or substitute the counsel that they would give to you.

I will tell you this, though. If I were selling the house, I would sell the house at market value, regardless of any repairs that may need to be done.

I would make a great note of all repairs that need to be done. I would also make the effort to get prices for the work, and contacts of contractors who are qualified to do the work. I would then give all of this information to the new buyers. I would openly disclose everything about the house that I know. But, I would still ask for the market value, regardless.

Until that house does sell, you should have open houses ever so often. again, do your walk around with a notepad. Taking notes of all the good qualities about the house. Although you may have done this before earlier, you should continue to do this same process until the house has sold.

Keep a positive mindset, and I assure you, this house will sell eventually. Be patient, and don’t talk bad about the house! Don’t complain about the house! Don’t condemn or curse the progress of process you have been making!

Yes, you have made great progress thus far. Because, you went from being stressed out trying to sell a piece of trash, to now, easy going, selling a real treasure to a very special buyer!

Again. Be patient, be consistent with your open houses. Be persistent with the faith, that this house will sell. Because, it will sell.

As a matter of fact, guess what?

That house is sold!

Good luck! Happy selling!

Oh, and please don’t forget my commission fee!